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"I looked at him. For all of his moaning, I couldn't see anything wrong with his face. He caught my look, and smiled, grimly."Yes," he said, tiredly, "I know there's nothing much wrong with my face, but it's my perception. My brain keeps telling me that when I see myself I should see a girl. Preferably a girl with long limbs and a nice face, but even a really ugly girl would be better than what I actually see. Which is a great big, hairy ape. In the morning it's a shock, in the afternoon it's just ugly, but by the evening it's utterly depressing. I can't stand it any more."That last statement alarmed me: I didn't want him to do anything drastic. "So what are you going to do about it?" I asked, belatedly realising that the words sounded like an ultimatum. No matter, he didn't seem to notice."I don't know," he said. He paused for a moment, and then repeated himself under his breath. And started to cry.I couldn't think of anything to do except continue to hold him. I couldn't think of. There was plenty of lightning and thunder. I thought it would be a good idea to drive into a park area that Lilly and I had enjoyed a picnic at a few weeks before. I wanted to kiss and touch her."Where are you going, Matt?" Remember how we had the Picnic here? I wanted to stop by here to watch the lightning and hear the thunder. I think it is cool to sit here." I told her. She told me many times that she loved thunderstorms---The more powerful and dangerous the store, the better!!!We put on the local AM radio station to hear the report as I parked the car in a spot that could not be seen from the street we were on. We both loved this station, as when there was a bad storm, it would "BEEP" every 10 seconds behind the person talking.We sat there, comfortably, listening to the reports of damage and hail and all of the other things that go on with a nice summer thunderstorm when I looked over at Lilly and moved my body over to kiss her. She kissed me back. It was my first real.
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